Love one another?

My littles aren’t so little anymore. My biggest “little” is taller than me now. And preteen moods and childish swings interrupt her budding, wise, and lovely persona. And it’s hard to keep up. Hard to keep up with someone changing and regressing so fast it makes my head spin. I love this girl but dear me she drives me crazy.

She loves me too. She comes back and apologizes and tries so hard to make things right.

But perhaps harder on this momma’s heart is my little ladies not being ladies to each other. Somehow arguments with me are a bit more tolerable than their harsh words thrown at each other. I would prefer them to engage with me. Not take shots at the tender places of their sisters' hearts. But the most difficult part (I think), is getting each one to see her part. They exquisitely quote their sisters’ actions, but have thorough amnesia about their own.

More seasoned moms, some help here? How do you/did you help your kids get along? Did they grow up to be friends?

Maybe that’s what Jesus was getting at when He said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). Because it would be so unusual! So un-human and so like-Him for us to know our faults, confess them, and grow together. That is truly a work of God among my children, yes, but among us grown ups too.

I’m quite sure, like us parents, He would prefer we engage with Him first - all our confusion and hurt and anger - so that by the time we come to our sisters and brothers, our speech can be “seasoned with salt” and upbuilding instead of discouraging. God, help me to see my part in this!

Lord, I pray with the Psalmist: “To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul” (Psalm 25). The whole complicated package, since He knows it already. And give me the humility to see what You see - a loved and wayward soul. What a hard scary prayer it is! But if I know who I am and how loved I am, I am no longer surprised that others are complicated and wayward…and loved just like me. I can love because He first loved me!

To you, oh Lord, we lift up our souls. Don’t let us be what we naturally are (as children) and let Satan get the better of us. Search us and know us and tell us if there is anything in us that grieves Your Fatherly heart and lead us in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

Someday, we’ll be perfect. Someday, my kids will grow up. There is hope. And we don’t need to get lost in valleys of shame when we learn we’ve messed up. His mercy is new and fresh and huge every morning, no matter what happened the day before. Repentance seems like it will destroy but it sets aside my pride and chips off my self-righteousness. What it destroys are the things that weigh me down. All while it brings cool water to my burdened soul.

Happy Monday, momma friends. May your accounts be short and your patience with your kids long this week. And don’t forget to tell me how to help my bickering girls!

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24).

“To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long” (Psalm 25:1-5).