Silence in Heaven

“When He opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour” (Revelation 8:1).

Imagine that half hour. Do the creatures and the elders look around at each other bewildered? Are they surprised that God would pause in silence before the seventh seal and the beginning of the next cycle of judgment? I don’t think so.

Why? All through Scripture, silence is a part of the story. The silence can be heavy with anticipation, pregnant with dread, full of fears or needs or worries or wants. Or maybe swelling with peace. Writers in the Bible encourage us to “be still” and to “rest” before the Lord. Wherever we are. Even on the seventh day of creation, God paused to rest. And all creation was silent before Him, as it will be at the end.

So would it surprise these elders or their angelic creature counterparts that God would be silent before moving on? Does God ever feel the push to continue like I do? I’m always telling my kids or myself to hurry up, to wrap it up, or get in the van. Does God ever feel the need to get on to the good part? No, He’s always acting at the right time. Not reacting. He’s in full, awesome control. And at this point in history, I think His people will have come to know that themselves.

Before the blessing. Before the judgment. Before the answer. Before we know what is happening and why, God is silent. And, as I have found, He invites us to be silent too.

This year has been very loud. Full of giving up and moving and grieving and fear and unemployment and trouble. Loud because I have four kids, loud because of shared spaces, loud because of the shouting fears in my own soul. This has been the biggest trial of faith Joel and I have ever walked through. And while many lovely people have been supportive and commented on our graciousness in it all, we’ve still done our fair share of wailing. Crying out to God and asking why. Crying and crying and crying as the familiar life we knew and loved, disappeared.

And then we studied that verse in our women’s Bible study: Revelation 8:1. Silence in Heaven. I paused in my study, silent, and remembered. I remembered the times that it was all too much and I had nothing else to pray. The times I did what I always do – put my shoes on and and go for a run. But my runs grew quieter and quieter as my hope waned. Why was heaven silent?

Over this year I’ve had so many questions. So many fears. So many things to do and things that I “should” be accomplishing. And in the press of it all, my voice grew quieter too.

Just letting Him search me and see me. My questions and doubts. My deep fears. One foot in front of the other. Just wordlessly laying it out as I ran and let Him search my soul. I found silence with Him a solace.

One evening as I was just being silent before Him, He finally came to a hard knot of resistance. It was small, but hot coals don’t have to be big to cause pain.

And it was like He said, “This. This is what I want.”

“Lord, I don’t even want that. It’s hot and painful. It’s garbage I wish I didn’t have.” I turned away and slept terribly.

But in the morning, He was there again, knocking. A beautiful text message full of faith from a friend kept me from ignoring Him. He was asking for that part of me.

I got the kids off to school and went to my chair. I burst my silence and out came lament. Pages and pages of fear and anger. The lament that I had never written. Pain I never wanted to have. “Why are we here? Why did we leave? What more do You want?” I asked. I poured out how hard it is to watch Joel suffer. How much I miss home.

“You know me,” I said. “If you lead me into ruin, I will still follow. So why? What are you getting out of this?” I demanded.

And finally, “I love you, Lord. But I am crushed.”

Silence.

Then this verse came to me in a whisper. “Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart” (Psalm 51:6). The secret heart. The place we don’t even want to go. That spot. He delights in truth there too. I looked it up and read the rest of the searing psalm of David’s confession to God.

Listen to this: “For You will not delight in sacrifice or I would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17).

If God asked for my activity, I’d give it. My home, I’d give it. My family, I’d give it. My control, I’d give it. My plans, I’d give it. My money, I’d give it.

But God isn’t looking for what I am giving Him out of my resources, service, or gifts. He wants my heart. And - that hot, painful ball of questions and fear. The part of me that is searingly hard to hold - my pain. The part that I simply don’t want…He does. The part I thought was garbage, He died for that too.

He longs for worship from that place, sister. The part of you that you can barely look at, let alone hold. A broken and contrite heart is not garbage, it is the supreme gift that we can give Him. It’s called surrender.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Why? Because when we are honest before God with everything we are, He can truly heal. We can truly worship.

I am sure, sure that there are places of my heart yet to be surrendered. I’m sure that He will ask for those parts too. But for now, how can I compare the peace of knowing that He treasures my woundedness? A bruised reed, He doesn’t snap off. A smoking flax, He doesn’t extinguish. It can still burn bright for Him.

As much as this year has crushed me, He was crushed for me long ago. And it was the will of His Father to do so (Isaiah 53:5,10). Why? For the joy set before Him. And His joy is us - you and me. We are His treasure. His bride. His prize.

Is He asking you to lay down your money or control or time or home or family or comfort or dreams? Are you having trouble laying them down? Let them go. Come open and honest before Him, come as you are and bring what He really longs for - surrender.

Is there silence in heaven over your trial, sister? Maybe it's trouble with your kids or spouse. Maybe it's financial, emotional, or physical. Be comforted. There is silence before He speaks. And you know there is power in His word… and comfort in His silence.

Be still and know that He is God. He loves you more than all that heaven can give because He gave it all to win you.

For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,
who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place,
and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly,
and to revive the heart of the contrite (Isaiah 57:15).