Lord, make me laugh

Lord, make me laugh
Deep, appalled, weary.
Lord, make me laugh.

Make Your promises so ridiculous that
All the weary years of battered wondering,
All the sin, and all the times I gave up and gave in
Cutting myself with deep wounds of broken cisterns…
Bubble up and explode
In a painful mixture of joy and ache.
Lord, make me laugh.

Promises that mock the dark,
Promises so huge they are hard to believe,
Goodness in the face of ragged loss.
Light on the path that I never expected.
Give so much that I wonder if there was a glitch,
Lord, make me laugh.

Give so much that I question my worth.
And let realization dawn, that yes,
You always knew
I am worth lavish love
Simply because
You love me.

Lord, make me laugh,
Is this who You are?
All along when I was failing and running and screaming,
You were patiently hearing and knowing and storing?
All the tears and years and fears,
Bottled up and stored against this day of blooming?

Lord, I’m not there yet.
But Your promises make me ache for it.
Ache for the wild winds of my homeland
That I have never seen,
Ache for the bright day You step out as Sovereign,
And all is settled into sweet right.
Ache for belonging and knowing and being known.

Lord, make me laugh.
Laugh that hope is found in the dark,
That goodness is here, in the land of the living,
That You fill promises in eternity
And here below.
Lord, make me laugh
And give me the hope that swells
Against all the weariness I walk in,
And hurts and pulses and gives me
Strength to go on.

Lord, make me laugh.

“So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” The Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:12-14).